This is a continuation from a previous post…
The Dark Night of the Soul comes first. This is the season when God focuses on the outward behaviors - the things we do. He is actively working to strip away those things we do which aren’t of Him. For example, for me this meant stripping off layer after layer of performance driven faith. I was doing, doing, doing as any good Christian should; church, church activities, Bible studies, volunteer work, Christian counseling, etc. I had also filled the rest of my life with activity driven from a need to make everything perfect in my life. I was compelled to try to do it all “right”.
In my Dark Night of the Soul, God put obstacles in my path toward doing everything right. My health, our finances, severe family issues, some of the small groups would just disintegrate and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get another group going. It seemed like no matter how hard I tried to do it right, it just fell apart. The more I tried to get “it” right, the more “it” would slip through my hands.
After fighting and fighting against it, I finally gave in to the darkness. When God had stripped me of all my performance driven faith, I came to realize I didn’t have a lot of faith. I did a lot of external things that others would view as faith-filled, but when God made me stop, sit, and reflect, I realized most of everything I did was coming from a heart filled with doubt of my own worthiness. I didn’t think I was worthy of God, so I did all these things to prove my worth.
The Dark Night of the Soul will look differently to each person. We have different outward behaviors God wants to address. One of my friends in the dark nights is coming face-to-face with some sinful behaviors she refuses to give up. Another friend of mine is dealing with her need for success. Her achievements have become a little god to her.
God uses creative yet painful means to get our attention. Pain is symptom that tells us something is wrong. God never promised us He wouldn’t use pain to help us grow in Him. “For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief.” Ecclesiastes 1:18
But, He did promise that something beautiful will come from our pain if we allow Him into the midst of our pain. “…and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.” Isaiah 61:3